- Mom: Close the bag!! Justin has a problem closing things.
- Sister: Especially his LEGS!!!!
- Me: -_-
When I was a kid, about 4 or 5, my mom would drop my sister, Amber, and I off at a day care while she when to work. This wasn’t a nice daycare center with a bunch of toys and a smiling staff who loved what they did. No, this “daycare” was held at a woman’s house, run by her, Merdis, her daughter, Jackie, and her close friend, Irene. Merdis didn’t know what was happening have the time, Jackie’s father must have been Lucifer himself because she took pleasure in the misfortune of the youth, and sweet Irene smelled like cigarette smoke and had a voice that sounded like a car engine trying to start. There was a pool in the backyard and a variety of kids from other low income families to play with so it wasn’t that bad of a place.
One particular day in summer I, and a few other kids who had forgotten their swim suits, were sitting on the patio watching All Dogs go to Heaven, a movie I still hate with a passion to this very day. But with nothing else to do, I sat like a good little boy with my hands in my lap and with lips tightly shut just like Ms. Jackie was always asking me to do.
The movie ended and us kids were getting restless. We all started to head to the backyard to play a game of tag or hide and seek. I was on my way out with the group when I tripped over myself. I landed face first, stunned. A few kids laughed but were nice enough to help me up. After I shook off my shock, I noticed my shoe was untied. I couldn’t play with my shoe like this. Mom said I could get hurt.
I asked my friends if they could help me but they were just as lost as I was when it came to tying shoes. Ms. Irene Merdis weren’t here and there was no way I was going near Ms. Jackie if I didn’t have to. So we decided to ask one of the big kids.
“Andre knew how to tie shoes”, someone says and calls him over to help.
“Do you know how to tie shoes,” I ask in a small voice.
He shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah,” he says without much conviction. The other kids are satisfied with this answer and run off to play, leaving me alone with Andre, the big kid who knew how to tie shoes as he would be known from this point on.
I sat down and he began his work, creating two bunny ears and having one follow the other. I watched him work, fascinated but his every move. He was seven and a half years old. Before you hit puberty, when someone asks your age, you make sure to give them an exact number.
He was taller than I was, but then so was everyone else here. He had dark skin with darker hair and eyes to match. At the time I didn’t have words to describe what I was feeling but I think it was something close to love. Yes, love. I was a child. The most complicated thing in my life was how to stay on Ms. Jackie’s good side, and all that consisted of was staying out of her sight as much as possible. So yes I do think it was love. There was nothing complicated in my life to make me think it was something else. I just knew I liked having him near me. It made me happy and I didn’t think to ask why.
He tied my shoes and I sat there, feeling shy and excited at the same time. He asked me if I wanted my other shoe tied as well. I remember looking into his deep brown eyes and nodding my head, happy that our time together would last a little longer. Again he followed one ear after the other, brow creased in deep concentration. His tongue peaked out of the corner of his mouth, this was no easy task. Finally his job was done. We both went off to play.
The rest of the day was spent with laughter under a blazing summer sun. When my mom came to pick us up I showed her my shoes and pointed to the boy who helped me out. She smiled and told me to get my stuff, not realizing my how important this was to me. I said my goodbyes, leaving Andre for last. He waved goodbye not knowing how important he had just become to me.
On the way home mom sings to the Beatles song on the radio, Amber plays with one of her Barbie dolls and I look at my shoes and how well their laces have been tied.
I long for your touch. I long to feel your hands around my waist; to feel your long fingers caress the skin of my arms, shoulders and back. Your dark hair tangled between my fingers as I crush your lips deeper into mine. I want the pressure of your body on mine as you lean into me, taking me completely away from this world and into yours. I want to hear your voice whisper in my ear, warm breath telling me that there is no other one for you but me, that I am all that you will ever want or need. Arms around me, holding me so tight that I feel your heart beat against my own. Your lips on my neck, chest, then hips, sending delicious chills down the length of my spine. You are mine and I am yours. Always.
“Please empty trash and change your shirt. I will call when done here.”-a text from my mom.
Not mad, just hurt. She still doesn’t completely understand and is scared for me. But I’m not scared. Not anymore. Just confused if I should keep the shirt on and stand up for myself or change and keep the peace for another day.
I don’t even like you! -_-
Me and cesar :D